{"id":994,"date":"2014-01-24T13:43:56","date_gmt":"2014-01-24T18:43:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/?p=994"},"modified":"2014-12-01T19:32:47","modified_gmt":"2014-12-02T00:32:47","slug":"recalculating-missing-the-off-ramp-on-the-road-to-climate-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/?p=994","title":{"rendered":"Recalculating: Missing the Off Ramp on the Road to Climate Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recalculating: Missing the Off Ramps on the Road to Global Warming<\/strong><\/p>\n

My GPS left me after our first drive together.
\nHer voice was so calm, mechanical and authoritative that I imagined her wearing a neatly pressed uniform inside my phone.
\n“Turn left at the next exit.\u201d<\/strong> She faltered in surprise when I continued down Main Street.
\nFailing to make the next \u201cturn left at the next intersection\u201d<\/strong> resulted in a stern, but matter of fact: \u201crecalculating..\u201d <\/strong>and a \u201cturn right at the next light\u2026\u201d <\/strong>
\nBy the fifth missed turn, GPS was clearly annoyed, spitting out \u201cRE- CAL- CU- LAT ING!!! <\/strong> In the loud slow syllables normally reserved for BAD! DOG!<\/strong>
\nGPS grabbed her phone and turned so I wouldn\u2019t hear, but her voice was fast and exasperated.
\n\u201cHundreds of billion dollars in research, satellites, telecommunications and computerized speech technology to give this guy directions and he won\u2019t make a friggin\u2019 right turn!\u201d
\nGPS got out at the corner. \u201cI\u2019m going to look for someone who will listen to me.\u201d She said. \u201cDon\u2019t try to find me. Then she bursts into a laugh \u201c…you\u2019d just get more lost…\u201d
\nYears later, I\u2019m still driving through the city in pinball style, but GPS has been calling to ask if we could get back together.
\nHer voice is worn and raspy.
\n\u201cThey sent me over to help guide climate control policy.\u201d GPS takes a long, deep breath.
\n\u201cThese guys show up every few years with their same list of resolutions that they blew off last year. Ok, this year we are really, really<\/strong> going to cut down on smoking. They set a goal of cutting down for say 20 years from now and adjourn to the courtyard to light up another pack. They take some pictures, get drunk and hop back on the bus and hit the gas.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd while they are blowing past their emissions goals, guess who is supposed to be giving them directions?
\nI\u2019ve had to shout RECALCULATING so many times that the bozos have made it into a drinking game.
\nEvery time they blow past an emissions goal, someone has to take a shot of whiskey and grab the steering wheel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKnow what\u2019s happened since the Kyoto protocol where they decided to end global warming?\u201d
\n\u201cGreenhouse gas emissions have increased an average of two percent every year! And all they can talk about is whose fault it is. The United States took off some pounds by shifting its manufacturing to China and is now pointing out how big China\u2019s butt is getting.\u201d
\n\u201cWhen are they going to get it? We are all together on one big scale. The atmosphere doesn\u2019t care which country dumped the most carbon into the air.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see the report on global climate change yesterday? Nine of the ten warmest years since 1879 have been in the last decade. But every time it snows, somebody declares that climate change was a myth.\u201d<\/p>\n

GPS pokes her finger at my chest. \u201cSo when you breeze past an exit, you are going to be late for your meeting.
\nBut when these guys blow past one, there goes Micronesia and half of Florida.
\nSo as they year after year I\u2019m screaming at them to get off this carbon freeway and year after year they blow by the exits faster.
\n\u201cCan\u2019t slow down now,\u201d they tell me, \u201cjobs and economy and all that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo here I am using big data and global modeling to guide them away from the broken bridge ahead, but they won\u2019t turn away from disaster. All we are asking is an honest switch from dirty to clean energy. It will create jobs and save cities and economies.
\nBut these BOZOs sit down with their coal and petroleum friends and start drawing underwater cities and talking about resilience!
\nYou know what resilience is? Duck and cover! Because we have set off climate changes that are going to come after us.\u201d
\nGPS sounds tired, defeated. \u201cI guess they are right–Dig data can\u2019t change little minds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what hundreds of billions of dollars of research and technology have given us?”
\n“The precise location where we buried our heads in the sand and a pretty good prediction of when the ocean will cover it.\u201d
\nI try to smile to shake off the irony, but GPS just shakes her head and wipes at a tear.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s just that when we finally reach our destination, I wanted the world to be as beautiful as was when we got on the bus.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shan Gordon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recalculating: Missing the Off Ramps on the Road to Global Warming My GPS left me after our first drive together. Her voice was so calm, mechanical and authoritative that I imagined her wearing a neatly pressed uniform inside my phone. “Turn left at the next exit.\u201d She faltered in surprise when I continued down Main […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,217],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-environment"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=994"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1024,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/994\/revisions\/1024"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.coolgreenschools.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}